Emerging from Darkness: Finding Beauty in the Journey

Not too long ago, I found myself in the depths of what I referred to as a black hole. Having ignored significant depression symptoms for far too long, I ended up at the bottom of a pill bottle, chasing it with tequila, in an attempt to end it all. In that moment, I had lost sight of the joy, beauty, and gifts in my life: my beautiful children, my wonderful partner, and my family. I was consumed by tunnel vision, feeling as if the walls were closing in on me. The next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital, intubated, and waiting those dreadful two hours to be able to breathe on my own so the tube could be removed. My only memory from that time was the doctors trying to intubate me, struggling to breathe, colors blending into blues, purples, and greens before everything went black.

When I woke up, I felt an overwhelming relief and gratitude for being alive. For the first time in my life, my mind was quiet. I could sit with one thought at a time, free from the constant chaos, negative self-talk, self-doubt, abuse, nightmares, and suppressed emotions. While it was challenging not being able to do anything without supervision, it also felt like I was free—free from the pain of my past.

During my recovery, while working with therapists and doctors, I became fascinated with kaleidoscopes. I was searching for a way to describe depression and anxiety to my children in a gentle and visual manner, and the kaleidoscope became the perfect symbol.

In Greek, "kaleidoscope" means "beautiful shape watcher." As you turn a kaleidoscope, there are brief periods of darkness when the chamber is blocked or the beads are settling. However, these dark periods give way to beautiful, unique images that never repeat. Each turn, each moment of darkness, and each transition leads to a new and beautiful outcome.

This idea inspired the heart of our brand. "Kallos" meaning beautiful or internally beautiful, "Ember" symbolizing the spark that encourages positive change, and "Ventures" represents the exciting journeys of life. I believe I am here for a reason; I was given a voice, and I plan to use it.